Hey guys! Welcome to my blog!
I sincerely apologize for being away for so long. It’s been about… 2 months? Maybe longer? Either way, I really am sorry for not posting in such a while. You see, I’ve been having a bit of a tough time. In the space of 2 months, I broke up with my boyfriend, the day after my nan was taken into hospital and everything became a complete mess as I started to go down hill with my mental health.
Then on the 11th October, my nan sadly lost her battle with Lung Cancer and passed away peacefully in her sleep.
For me and my family, it was traumatic because everyday we went to see her in hospital and each time she was either getting better or worse. For example, one day she’d be bad and the next day, she would be better.
Either way, I can’t help but feel a little guilty, because the day before she passed, I promised I’d make her some rice pudding and bring it in the next day. But unfortunately, she never got to taste it. I also made her a pillow with her initials on it that she never got to see…
But I think what hit me the most was seeing my mum and grandad cry for the first time ever and also realizing that I was never gonna see or hear from her again.
These kind of things hit you so hard that you just don’t know what to do or how to react! And as much as I’ve wanted to just bawl my eyes out every chance I’ve got, I’ve tried to stay strong for my mum because I don’t want her to be constantly reminded.
My nan’s funeral is less than a week away, and I’ve channelled my thoughts and emotions through poems and a song I wrote for her the day before she past (which she also didn’t get to hear).
To make It up to her, I’m going to be reading my poem out at her funeral. So then she’ll finally be able to hear it. And as for the song, I plan to finish it and record it. So then I’ll be able to say “I did it nan”.
As much as we hate it, these things happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s part of life and we need to accept that. And if you are reading this and have lost someone dear to you then I want you to know that your not alone. And that the ones that depart from us are not gone. They walk beside us everyday.
I send my love,
Purple rain was my nan’s favourite song… This is for you nan xx❤